Luminous Infinitus

I’m lying flat on my back and looking at the open sky. It is clear. There are no stars. Only a single moon. Is the queen of the night sky smiling at me ? Or at the seabird sitting at the stern. Or at her own beauty that is reflected by the sea ? Well, at least I’m happy that she’s there and she’s smiling. The seabird has been sitting there, at the pointed end of the boat, quietly, for hours now. She didn’t bring the astral blueberries this time. She couldn’t have forgotten for sure. May be she gave them to others on her way, ones who yearned for them more than I did. May be she traveled too long and couldn’t bring it this far. Had I come that far? In my quest to see new places, to uncover new truths, to discover new wonders, I’d rowed faster and faster towards exotic places in the far corners of the sea. Had I gone too far ? The astral blueberries, the melodies that resonate my soul - I’ve almost forgotten their taste. Sometimes I feel I’m chewing on to one – one of those soft fleshy ...

I was* so preoccupied with my ever growing to-do list (one of which was to write this ! and this.. was not at the top of the list. Hey, whatever happened to doing priority tasks? ) and this general feeling of “Aw ! I should’ve done this yesterday” , that I couldn’t sit in a place and gather my thoughts, my rainbow butterflies. Why haven’t I been writing? I guess I haven’t been thinking at all. May be I shouldn’t be staying a hop away from home. And even that hopping distance, may be I shouldn’t be covering in car ! Those days in which I stayed far away from home, when I used to travel by train, those dreaming-thinking-talking**-sleeping-writing-reading-thinking-dreaming travels. Oh ! I wish they were back. *was? I still am ? **talking not with self like a madman (used to do that when I was a kid though. I gather I’m more self conscious now!) but with fellow passengers. -------------- Oh my ding ding, what do I write ? What did I do last week ? Friday evening 6 PM – the beginning of a ...

Thought of finally taking a break to roll up my sleeves, blow the dust off the writing desk and sit and gather the fluttering paper rainbow butterflies and stick them to the book. They’re around, just a catch away. The touch of the rainbow butterflies, oh boy ! they almost take my breath away. I kiss each one of them and stick them to the book. They’re mine and they’re beautiful. How I miss them ! The other day A shouted from her boat. “Look, Look !” I watched. It was a bright one. Bright ones are usually flapping around the boat, within my hand’s reach at anytime. But this one was almost in the water. Ah! May be the wind carried it down. It twisted and turned. Turned and twisted. It stood there for a moment, mustering all its strength to defy gravity, hoping that the eastern wind would carry it to me. But it met its end, the frail paper and its seven colors. It touched water. Did it shiver? It floated for a brief second and faded.. into the blueness of the sea. Before it vanished,...

Relived a wonderful moment when I accidentally read one of my old scribblings. There are some places where the moment you go, you feel completely at ease ; you’d stay, transfixed with a longing in your heart to be left there forever! It could be a library, a church, a temple, top of a mountain, a beach, an island, a hut in the middle of a forest, a river bank .. it could even be someone’s house. S’s house, it’s not a house, it is a being. The moment you enter, you feel a warm, smooth embrace. There is certainly something there.. something in the way the house was built, something in the way things were arranged, something in the way lighting was set up, something that kept you suspended in a dream-like state. The flute at the shelf near the bottom of the stairs was lazily placed but you felt as though it blew music into your mind. The winding stairs that led to a small study upstairs beckoned you to go up and when you did, it wasn’t merely going up in space, you felt as though yo...

In my dream I was sleeping. A was shaking my hand. “Achaya..wake up.. wake up.. I can’t find the books.” “What books ? ” “The ones I kept in the box yesterday. The box is empty now.” “Yeah, the books walked away. You ignored them for too long. You know indifference is a punishment more severe than hatred.” (Sorry. I’m sometimes sarcastic when woken up from sleep) “He he ! stupid joke.” (clap, clap ! here is someone who doesn’t take offense.) I went with her to the inner room. She was showing me the empty box. “How could it be. I’m so certain that I took all the books sprawled under the bed and put it into this box. ” I gave a sheepish smile - “I know I know.. ” I took the box in my hand and turned it upside down. Opened it from the other end. All the books were there. “Wow !” “This is a magician’s box.” I wanted to show her the trapdoor and explain it to her. But at that moment my eyes caught ‘Histories’ - Histories by Herodotus. Suddenly, everything dissolved. There was no box. There ...

A recent trip to Mount Shasta became more memorable due to me losing my glasses. When the optician asked me if I wanted the sunlight coating, I said yes. Well ! when someone sounds as though she’s offering the best thing in the world, you’ve got no option but to have it. Moreover insurance covered it (Insurance ! The secret American Ace). Just think of having a pair of glasses that turns black when you walk outside in sunlight and turns plain inside. Great ! I ordered one and the moment I started wearing, I didn’t like them. It looked as though I was wearing sun glasses all day. But suddenly every day was a pleasant day. Be it sunny or cloudy, the day looked the same. Set me thinking.. Why do some people always see goodness ? Because they wear sunglasses in their minds. When they look into the world, they don’t see the scorching intense heat but pleasant evening. Always. Reminds me of a duMaurier short story that I’d read sometime back - ‘The Blue Lenses’. The book which contains this ...