I spoke to K yesterday , that after a long long gap. He made up for it, for the lack of talk all these months, told me so many things that even if we’d been speaking everyday all this while, I wouldn’t ve had this much of info in my mind at this moment.
K – my chennai pal - the one who ate, drank, slept, talked, walked in Kannada, one who cursed Chennai in every breath he took. Not a day passed without hearing him spewing out an expletive or two against poor citizens of the place whose fault it seemed to me was that they either loved their language too much or simply didn’t have the ability to pick up other languages quickly. ‘Language fanatics’ he said, ‘narrow minded’ he swore. Probably, being a chatterbox all his life, he wasn’t used to being a mute spectator amongst people who talked more than him, that too in a language completely alien to him. Probably he was jealous of them since he didn’t have the passion for his own language as they had. Probably Chennai made him learn that one must love ones mother tongue !
The first time I went with K to dinner in Chennai, I was taken aback. He spoke to the waiters in Kannada. After the initial shock, I offered help, said I’d talk in T and make the orders.
"kall nan makklu kano. Nammural bandu avara bhashe maathadthare. Nan yaake hang maad baradu ?"
("Cunning folks buddy; they come to our land and speak in their language. Why can’t I do the same here?")
He stuck to his guns and spared none – to waiters in hotels, auto drivers, shop keepers he made it a point to talk in kannada. I’d say his victims became adept at reading hand signals or may be they just guessed… or may be some never cared. But I never got a chance to witness K being snubbed.
May be K's got a point there. If we don't speak our mother tongue, who will? My pals who are mallus - F, R , F , S, J .. oh ! I've never spoken to them in Malayalam. It's always been Enlglish ! May be I must try it when I go back to India. Atleast to see the shock/surprise on their faces :)
K – my chennai pal - the one who ate, drank, slept, talked, walked in Kannada, one who cursed Chennai in every breath he took. Not a day passed without hearing him spewing out an expletive or two against poor citizens of the place whose fault it seemed to me was that they either loved their language too much or simply didn’t have the ability to pick up other languages quickly. ‘Language fanatics’ he said, ‘narrow minded’ he swore. Probably, being a chatterbox all his life, he wasn’t used to being a mute spectator amongst people who talked more than him, that too in a language completely alien to him. Probably he was jealous of them since he didn’t have the passion for his own language as they had. Probably Chennai made him learn that one must love ones mother tongue !
The first time I went with K to dinner in Chennai, I was taken aback. He spoke to the waiters in Kannada. After the initial shock, I offered help, said I’d talk in T and make the orders.
"kall nan makklu kano. Nammural bandu avara bhashe maathadthare. Nan yaake hang maad baradu ?"
("Cunning folks buddy; they come to our land and speak in their language. Why can’t I do the same here?")
He stuck to his guns and spared none – to waiters in hotels, auto drivers, shop keepers he made it a point to talk in kannada. I’d say his victims became adept at reading hand signals or may be they just guessed… or may be some never cared. But I never got a chance to witness K being snubbed.
May be K's got a point there. If we don't speak our mother tongue, who will? My pals who are mallus - F, R , F , S, J .. oh ! I've never spoken to them in Malayalam. It's always been Enlglish ! May be I must try it when I go back to India. Atleast to see the shock/surprise on their faces :)
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First and foremost, my sincere apologies to my friends from Kerala
Subject: An educational and inspiring guide on how to name your kids as if you are a Mallu Christian.
Statutory Warning: If you are not a South Indian it might be pointless reading further.
Extra Statutory Warning: If you are a mallu with the pride of Kerala in your loins, DON'T read any further.
It has been a well kept secret for eons, shrouded in mystery and a maze of deceit, but finally Itty Boben Jacob Elias Kuruvilla from
Pazhookaville, near Thelmasherry, Kerala, has consented to let us
publish this classified Mallu formula, on the naming of Mallu Christian kids.
1. Select a combination of the mother's and father's
names.
eg: Suresh and Sharon = Susha or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.
2.The addition of a 'mon' (meaning son) or 'mol'(meaning daughter) is optional. eg: Sushamol, Jobimon.
3.To attach a modern anglicised feel to the names, the mol
or mon can be replaced with boy or girl. eg: Jobiboy,Sushagirl.
4.For the politically correct Keralite family, mol and mon
can be replaced by the universal 'kutty'
(child), which can be used for both boys and girls eg: Jokutty, Susikutty.
5.Even parents having combination names can still give their children suitable names eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo.
6.However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible names eg:
Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn't
even sound like a name) or Amit (which is like Northie and stuff!!),
then
a) Use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly,
Smiley,Anarchy, etc.
b) Use a combination of two English names that you think
sound cool(but never cool enough) like Meredith + Gina
= Megi, or Sharon +Darlene = Sharlene.
c) Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar! Use
one that even Velliammachi can pronounce) like Jacob, Sam, John, Joseph,Mathew, or Jijo!
d) Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn't. eg:
Boben,Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.
Note: The use of the letter 'j' is useful in the naming
of siblings where names that sound alike are a novelty. Eg: Ajji, Sajji,Majji,Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo.
An afterthought:
Q. What do you call a Mallu kid who sticks his nose into other people's business?
A. Pokemon
start blogging. you'd be a rav(w)e!
for one.. this gave rise to so many new names. world couldn't 've had another million thomas mathews or john thomases.
you know what'd ve happpened if my parents had followed the first syllable trend ? you'd ve called me Raro :))