Luminous Infinitus

S called. Before he started speaking, I knew what he’d say. Let’s meet up and study something. Yeah ! it’s been over a month since 2nd semester started and we hadn’t even looked into the books list. EC1 was a couple of weeks ahead. It was time. He was in Stanford meeting up with some friend. He wanted to catch up with me in the library after lunch. S - “Library le meet pannalam. Books list eduthuko. We’ll find them there and also plan for studying for this sem. ” Me – “Wokay. I have some work in the bank. Athu mudichittu, I’ll leave to library.” As planned, we met in the library but couldn’t find the books. They’d all been taken. After talking about textbooks for a while, the conversation just slipped into movies and songs. Me - “Have you heard this song ‘Ragasiyamanadu kaadal’ ? A gem of a song. I was listening to top 10 on raaga yesterday and came upon this .. Quite accidentally” S - “Haven’t heard of it. New song ? Which movie ?” “Kodambakkam” “k. Have you listened to ‘New york nag...

He was standing near the sun. There was brightness everywhere, almost blinding him. He could see the rays going away – far away to distant lands, giving light, feeding happiness. But he couldn’t stand there for long. Some strong force was pulling him away. He clenched his teeth, tightened his muscles, held his fists in a tight grip, He tried .. to hold on for longer. It broke. But he wasn’t ready to give away, not yet. He leapt, stretched his hand and grasped a light ray. In a moment he wasn’t himself. As the luminous shaft shot ahead with break neck speed, his vision became blurred, he ceased to think. When he opened his eyes, he was far away. He was still riding on the light ray. But there was no sun, no planets in the vicinity. It was mostly dark. At a distance he could see specks of light from stars, light years away. He could feel that he wasn’t traveling as fast as he was in the beginning. Was the ray weakening ? A dread swept through him. What would happen ? Would the light die ...

Some days you get up slowly .. sit or sometimes sit n sleep on the bed for sometime .. wait for thoughts to gather, slowly come into terms with the world – as though you need time to gradually transition from one world to completely different one – as though you just came out of water and you’re gasping for breath. Yet, Some other days you get up with a jerk – immediately springing into action – as though the very reason that you got up was to do that . It’s as though you’ve been awake all along but had just closed your eyes temporarily.. Today was one of those ‘some other’ days. It was a holiday but I just got up and immediately wanted to check out ‘the destruction of Sennacherib’. I wanted to read the Biblical passage which mentioned this incident. This out-of-ordinary behavior was because just yesterday I started with this book named "Familiar Poems, Annotated" by Asimov. For starters, Isaac Asimov was a master science fiction writer, the most famous in his time and the b...

Amir Aczel’s "Fermat’s Last Theorem" begins with this amazing quote by Andrew Wiles. Yes ! he is the one .. the mathematician who solved the most famous unsolvable problem in the history of Mathematics . Over a span of 3 centuries, thousands of brilliant and hardworking men and women were at it.. and in the quest had discovered so many ground-breaking theories ..even new branches of Maths! I was just dumbfounded the moment I read it - at the sheer truth behind it. Here it goes .. "Perhaps I could best describe my experience of doing mathematics in terms of entering a dark mansion. You go into the first room and it's dark, completely dark. You stumble around, bumping into the furniture. Gradually, you learn where each piece of furniture is. And finally, after six months or so, you find the light switch and turn it on. Suddenly, it's all illuminated and you can see exactly where you were. Then you enter the next room . . . " Exactly !! I think this applies ...

Though sleeping, reading and watching movies were the only major things that I did during this weekend, what I really wanted to do was to go to a beach, write something, put it into a bottle and throw it into the sea. Yeah ! Yes ! just like that ! Much as I'd like to think that someone'll pick it up and read and mail and .. Nothing..

Gosh ! I jus came to know that A’d changed from specs to lenses. When ? Now I got it ! I met him last week.. that too after a gap of a year ! he asked if I noticed any change in him. I get into this confused-i-wanna-chicken-out kind of state when someone asks me this ! I think I’d said “haha .. you look exactly the same. You don’t eat much. Do you ? I guess I too haven’t changed much.” (A might’ve been thinking – ‘bummer! I’ve gotten rid my specs and you don’t even notice the difference ! grr !!’) This’s been a problem which, for a long time I never knew ! Some friend wears a new dress or gets a new get-up and I never notice. The fact of the matter is, this hurts people…sometimes. Once I thought I’d fix it … had told myself “watch it ! from today .. I’m gonna get more interested in the ‘appearance’” The very next day I caught P coming to office. Me – “hey P, you look different ! you’ve started wearing specs, haven’t you ? Cool ! I must say you now look your true intellectual self.” ...

St.George’s festival. Theophilus thirumeni (formerly MC Cherian achen) went over St. George’s life – the same story that had been told to me many times as a kid – more so because I had this paranoic fear of snakes. I’ve had moments in which I missed stamping on a snake or a snake bite by sheer luck ! If you said there was just one in a million chance to see a snake in the city of Bangalore.. yes.. may be.. but there is that one in a million.. We had a photo of him, St.George – an old, almost faded, small but framed one, in which the brave hero stands face to face with the dragon with a spear in his hand on a white horse . He is staring into the dragon’s eyes and the open mouthed dragon is lunging towards him. The dragon isn’t afraid and he isn’t even a bit scared ! Takes me back to the times when we used to go to kerala during summer vacations. Everything seemed to happen right during that time. Mango’s came at that time. It rained at that time. And this perunal too. It was one time w...

"...bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings, These are a few of my favorite things." - 'The Sound of Music' The first thing that I did was to watch the rest of 'The Sound of Music' The 'favourite things' song was still afresh in my mind. I'd watched it till Maria stealthily ran away to the abbey. D had said it was the best of movies ! must-watch-should-not-be-missed kind of movie. It is a musical about a wannabe nun being a governess in a Captains house (palace!) gaining the confidence of his 7 kids. It’s a classic. It’s a jolly ride, I’d say – jolly roller coaster musical flow in and out of good times. By the time I finished everyone was awake.. N, reading paper – "They’ve opened a new park near downtown. Let’s go." Me – "Yup..I anyway needed to go to the library." N – “ok. We’ll cook something, take it and eat it from there.” Me – “We’ll eat here and t...

Today’s story Jigs n reels – Joanne Harris The best thing about the stories in the book are the short notes just before the stories – words telling you the inspiration behind each story. The first story “Faith and Hope go shopping” is about 2 elderly ladies who escape from an old age home to fulfill their long-standing-utterly-wild-dreams , i.e to buy ‘Lolita’ and a pair of designer shoes. One’s bound to a wheelchair and the other is blind ! I’m in the 5th story in which a set of classmates from a magic school decide to meet after 25 years. The main protagonist arrives earlier than the rest. She sees her friends arrive one by one – everyone, the hated and the loved alike, she observed had been practicing magic – one had become famous amongst the gliterrati, another had a shop, another was consulting..and so on. She’s afraid because, she is the only one who’s been out of touch and has lost her magic. As she keeps hoping that none would question her about it, the worst thing happens – so...

Am I psychic ? Or am I becoming more psychic day by day ? Some things happen and I’m like – wow ! I knew this’d happen. I was up above in the mountain by Lake Tahoe and something triggered the memory of H. The very next day what do I see in my mailbox? A mail from H !! That too after a gap of almost 1 year. Was watching this movie named ‘The Italian Job’(a must-watch-movie - splendid cinematography & superb music to go with it). That triggered memory of P. P had been all awe of the movie and we’d discussed Charlize Theron over a year back. I just opened Cogni mail(my idea of multitasking is to check mails/start server/update clearcase view/… while watching movie/tv in the night) and there it was – a mail from P. It was around 3 to 4 months since I left Portland and I’d forgotten all about the people over there (that’s a serious problem that I have to solve. I mingle too well with people whom I interact on a day-to-day basis, almost as though they are my siblings but at the same tim...

Surprise ! Surprise !! There is none who surprises himself more than me ! Am I a nerd? Far from it. Did I answer the questions wrong ? Nope. P had a single word answer for all unanswerable-incomprehensible questions - "Whatever !" He never knew they’d oppose so greatly to it. They were his close pals. He knew they’d tell things only for his benefit. But he’d made the decision already. Him - “Guys, I’ve signed up for MS.” K - “MS, you ? Robbie, you must be doing an MBA dude. That suits you more.” N - “MS doesn’t make sense to you at all.” T maintained silence. ** lot of talk/arguments for the next 2 hrs ** They were not the first ones. A lot of people had told him in the past to do MBA. He used to wonder – do they perceive him as a dumb techie ? did he actually have ‘it’ in him to be an MBA – to manage people, projects, to lead ? ugh ! he’d rather sit in a corner, read a book or just do the task that he’s assigned with. How could people perceive him as a person different from ...

  

   How does it feel to be woken up at 5.50 AM in the morning, that too on a Saturday and asked to get ready in 10 minutes to go to Lake Tahoe – a skiing resort ? Like a dream ! The day went like a breeze. I’d seen cable car and skiing only in movies. There I was .. traveling in a cable car and feeling like being a bond movie, skiing (and falling, though I found skiing to be easier than ice-skating) and feeling like being Levin in Anna Karenina… Before we knew, it was time to return and only thing that remained was feeling of having spent a great day.

Just on the day when I made a curry in a hurry , forgot to put salt, worse, forgot to taste it, I got it to office and got to have lunch with a bunch of folks who believed in this ‘give-it-to-everyone, eat-from-everyone’ principle. A la potluck. Thank God I had the sense to taste it before offering. Once I realized it, I was in a catch 22 situation. How could I take theirs if I can’t offer ? But how could I stick out like a sore thumb without taking anything? Giving or not giving is equal embarrassment. Big deal! Took a bit of K’s pongal, N’s chatney, V’s idly. I didn’t offer mine. They didn’t ask. Did they feel offended? What the hell ! sach bolne se kya nuksaan? Me - “I’m becoming worse at cooking day-by-day. Forgot to put salt.” N - “So you were good before?” Me - “No. bad to worse” N – “Oh! It is 0(zero) to – (minus) whatever. haha” Everyone laughed. S – “Time for you to get married” Me – “What if she doesn’t know?” Laughter again. Now I wonder. Were they laughing at me? Here is a...

“Bhoogolathinte spandanam Mathematics aanu.”(Mathematics in the pulse of earth) – The gruff voice of the one-n-only inimitable Thilakan still rings in my ears. In ‘Sphadikam’, it is told in a sarcastic way as though to tell us that the father’s insistence on son learning Math wrecked his(the son’s, I mean) life.(wrecked? Umm.. for all you know, there might be folks who want to emulate aadu thoma!) Why math all of a sudden? Had done a project which dealt with encryption a couple of months back and got hooked on to cryptography. Got around reading some books too. Nothing heavy. Some light yet stimulating reads. “In Code – A mathematical Journey” by Sarah Flannery “The code book” by Simon Singh.. More about them later.. N was telling about how interesting he found “Gödel, Escher, Bach” to be. Read the first chapter. Too good. Yet another must read. Back to cryptography, it is strange.. how one gets interested in some subject. How something catches one’s fancy for no reason. I got into it...

I spent a whole day with out it .. without the most important thing that adorned my face for so many years(well ! not so many.. just 5!) – my specs. Such a thing had to happen. Especially since I’m prone to falling into this very-absent-minded-utterly-oblivious-to-surrounding state. I searched everywhere. Inside the Fridge, inside my bag, inside the microwave, on the TV, under the table, below the cot, in the toilet.. I must’ve kept it somewhere. I’ve kept things in strange places before. It is a strange feeling – to be without specs for a day. To feel the wind on the eyes , to look at the mirror and see a different person, to be able to touch one’s face without obstructions, to be able to not feel the presence of something on one’s head, to have the feeling of sudden freedom. But what is freedom at the cost of pain ? a severe ache on the left side of my head in my case.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. This is from a book named ‘All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten’. D was so ecstatic about it on the phone that I ordered the book online as soon as I got a chance. If not anything, I was enchanted by the name. It took 2 weeks to get shipped to me though. Got it today .Smiled and laughed all the way to the end while reading it.

Chinese new year ! C took us to the most famous sea food restaurant here. ABC seafood center ! We spent a good 20 minutes to find a place to park only to find over 20 people waiting in line. But luckily C had arranged for everything and we just had to go to the table where he and other team members were sitting. But I wondered.. why so many ? what do they sell here? why so many people ? The restaurant was a huge circular hall and it looked same from all sides. Seemed as though there were circular tables all over and the same group of people sitting around every table. I looked again .. and again. They looked so alike. It is difficult to tell one Chinese from another and the big crowd in front gave the impression of 100s of duplicates sitting next to each other and chattering. There .. a vision of unity, of co-operation, of singleness of purpose. Some days all he did in the college was to speak to SN. When it came to philosophy, about the purpose of life, the meaning of life and things ...

For three days he has been working on it. Finally he got it. ‘Is that it? That’s all ?Aww’ he thought. He could now do it in a mere two hours. Instead of rejoicing that his labour had finally borne fruit, he was unhappy. A person with experience could do it in 2 hours. But could anyone have experience in every minute thing in the world? Experience means recognizing patterns. Attribute the observed pattern to something that you have already done. If you have competence in that field, you must have done something similar. You must have read about something on similar lines. Some time back RV had told me what he had learnt in some programme that he had attended - about different levels of competence. There are 4 levels of competence 1. Unconscious Incompetence 2. Conscious Incompetence 3. Conscious Competence 4. Unconscious Competence You are in the first stage if you don’t know that you don’t know. The second stage is when you know that you don’t know. The third is when you know that you...

The good soul decides to do something good. He feels happy about the great deed he is about to perform. In his mind he sees obscure faces of people whom he might save. When he had done it in the past, he had felt weak and had gone home and slept .. slept and slept. As it happens with him often, he sees himself in the future. He sees him self after the deed. He sees himself being weak, weak to even type. He sees himself being drowsy in the 3 PM meeting which he is required to attend. His colleagues ask him why he is so pale. Is he not well or something ? He wants to tell them. But he says ‘Nothing, nothing .. I’m OK. Just didn’t get enough sleep. It was too cold yesterday.’ The clock strikes 2 and he gets out of the reverie. It is time. He gets up with a smile and heads towards the gym. That’s where the blood donation drive is to happen. He returns faster than he goes. He is seen smiling wildly as though something’s hit him. Internally he is laughing , laughing loudly at the ridiculousn...

Ever started your day in the office with a rude shock? I mean, shock in the literal sense. I’ve discovered that being a good chap who switches off his monitor before calling it a day (to save power!) has its disadvantages , especially if he is a ..err..'static electric' person – someone who gets a shock even before he touches the metal switch to turn on the power. If I were a man of action I’d be benumbed for a second, taken aback by the momentary loss of sense before coming to terms with things around. But no..I’m what you could call as a man of dreams (If you ever catch me smiling/laughing/angered/dull or exhibiting some out-of-the-place emotion while idly walking on some road alone, be not alarmed, you’ve not lost me). So, this shock is usually a jolt from the dreamy-unreal-fantasy world to the present. It’s as though some one’s stopped me on my tracks.. "Boy. It’s time, time to work. Ready .. Steady .. Go." 9.30 AM Yes. Time to work. Do one thing at a time, I tell...